I am too much or you're just too little?

∼March 11, 2015∼


As much as I love guys - that's as much as I hate them.
I might be confusing and I have all these thoughts running through my head, but seriously? 
Why you getting your panties into twist when things don't go the way you want it too?

Momma never taught you that we all are different? 

I know what I want, but it doesn't mean everything is as simple as they appear.

Maybe one day I am like this; and the other I am like that.
One day I like you and the next day you piss me off.

You can never be sure of everything especially when the foundation is weak.

You say you're a honest man? Sure, I believe you.
And believe me too when I say I am honest, but I can still do whatever I want ya know.
Things doesn't always go as smooth as you want it to be just because you're honest.

Never think I am as simple as I appear to be.
I just want that easy peasy happy life.

Don't try to hold me to anything. I won't have it. 
As fast as you came into my life - that's as fast as you're out of it.
It really doesn't make any difference to me. 

"Have a great life."
Oh yeah, thanks and you too.

"I can't deal with this."
Oh okay, I can't deal with you!

I won't be missing you. So we good.
Kisses and hugs /rant over.

Unspoken words tell stories

∼March 2, 2015∼


{ twins }
I asked you: "can you do me a favor and say this "x" to me next time if asked?"

It's funny how alike you are in the beginning, but in the end you're completely different.

We never used to argue, but now it's a weekly thing. I wonder when we grew apart? Or if it has always been this way..

Were we always this different from each other? And why is that so? 

I love you, but I feel suffocated. I don't know how to talk to you. I don't know how to please you.. Can we rewind to the time where times were more simple?

You say you support my decisions, and I believe you, but why won't you try to listen to my wishes? Are the difficult to answer? Or am I asking too much? 

I know you don't like certain people like I do, but without saying it directly to me — I know. I just need you to show me more faith. I don't like this negative energy of you saying you don't like certain people. I have never been a fan of negativity.

I don't like it. So please say it in another way. Can you please do it for me?

Or should I just accept that you won't change your ways and I should take what I can get?
Probably…

I am never going be involved with anyone. I might as well live as a frickin nun. It's a frickin hassle anyways. :)

What's your point?

∼February 28, 2015∼



You looked me in the eyes and said:
"But girls shouldn't behave this way. Tell me why.

When will people stop trying to read what I am thinking and why I do what I do.

I can be with whoever I want to be. I can be however I want to be. For the most shallow reasons there may be or the most significant reasons there may be. 

Bottom line is: I decide things. I don't decide on things based on what you think is best for me. And most definitely not as "a female".

I am happy because I choose to be happy. I don't need to conform to your view of how society or your view of women. Oh please; I am old enough to know that I have much to learn, but if you just bring up one opinion which clearly tells me you says double standards — then don't blame me for thinking that you're narrow-minded and I will point out that you have one. 

I am sorry for myself and you — that you feel the need to put out those negative thoughts when you speak to me. That's a shame.

Why can't I do what you do merely for the reason that I am female? Just think about it. If you know it's a double standard and it's stupid then don't bring it up. 

Mothers and fathers create beautiful children so the can be subdued and controlled by others and society? No. You don't. You create these creatures so they can gain wisdom from life and be smart enough to make their own decisions and stand by it.

My happiness is not your happiness. Even if I am unhappy with my decisions, I am still happy that I made the decisions on my own. Screw what you want me to do.  

I don't need your approval. I don't need your acceptance.  What I do; I do for myself. When will people stop having double standards and let me live my life instead of questioning it.

What works for you; that's excellent, good and what not. What works or doesn't work for me; is still my business.

Even when I am in control of things, I might not be. Don't put me in a box because I don't want to be in.

Maybe women have it easier than me. We should just do what's told. 

Do this, do that. Don't use your brain. Just do it.

But best believe; I have never been the kind of girl to do the expected or just because you tell me to. If I want to have shallow life(according to you) while I enjoy the simple perks of life; then let me. 

Don't try to belittle me by saying that I should seek something more meaningful because my eyes aren't yours. You will never be able to understand my way of life. I see what I see. Everything is colored and one moment I see it this way; and the next moment I see it that way.

I have no interest of being stuck in the same place.

Thank you. Yet another day where I learned the tricks of the trades.

#forevergrateful for the ground we walk upon.<3 and for my beloved sister and best friend who accept me for who I am even when they don't understand my ways. The unconditional love I have for you.
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