Colleagues is a no-go area!

∼November 28, 2015∼

Recently at work I introduced a colleague to a girlfriend.
So I was telling him about her and she is just beautiful and everything.

Bluntly I ask Do you have a girlfriend or nah? Don't give me that "maybe"-answer because I can't use that. He says It goes up and down. So I say Is that a yes or no then? He says I can't say.

But he interested in seeing her pic tho. Do you have a picture?
I am like duh I do?

So later he comes into my clinic and we talk and I show him the pictures.
I say: Oh, you come because you wanted to see the pictures? We got interrupted back in the previous conversation and he goes nah, just to talk to you that's why.
I insist on showing the picture tho and he says what I already know.

That she is SO pretty.

I ask if he's interested and he hesitates. Like I don't know.
What a fuckin boy! Like he is so indecisive, but I think it's because he's serious with her then he has to know for sure if it's a go or not.

Then we talk a little and we talk more about me and he says he think it's weird that I haven't been invited so much since I am sweet and pretty(oh, don't stop hihihi). Then he goes on asking me if I am bisexual or possibly gay. We joke and then we flirt.

Like subtly.

I can't help, but flirt a little because you know why? He kinda started.

He comes me. Just to talk he says. He isn't usually like that since we don't talk that much.

I wouldn't say that I flirt on purpose since I am naturally flirty.
I know I am flirty..
I know it! Without trying I am flirty.

So that day is so weird.
We never talk that much. We have some common interests and we have previously talked before just two-on-two where I think I miiiiight have started the initiate flirting. Or actually it's not flirting, I am just being affectionate because sometimes when I talk to people - I gently touch their arm while laughing or something. Males and females!

But yeah, that day we waited for me and even walked with me out the place.
Then we talk some more and I just joke and say hey lets work out now.  And he's like all googly eyed and says should we? I am hungry tho. We had a ten hour shift so obviously we are tired and hungry.

We eat at the near by sharwarma place and just talk.. And then more flirting and touching and all of a sudden it just goes completely out of control! And I don't understand how it happened!

We make out and yeah, things just got a little too heated.

So my purpose of introducing him to my girlfriend?
Yeah, just forget it.

I shot myself in the foot.

But damn, I do live a very exciting life sometimes.
And sometimes it's boring as fuck.

Lesson of the month - don't get involved with your colleagues.
It does not end well.

In this case - it didn't end well either and now there is a bad vibe.
Lesson learned.

So girls.
Just don't go there :-)

Hugs and kisses

Btw. my second jaw surgery was a week ago and my face is so different and I am so sad about it. Maybe it's my face. Maybe it's the swelling. Who knows. I do regret it a bit, but I will update with a entry. My face is so odd and the picture is the best I could do.


∼November 10, 2015∼

When I was younger, I used to be SO full of insecurities. "Oh, I am not pretty enough. Why doesn't he like me? I wonder if I can find someone who'll like me. Why aren't I pretty as her?"

You girls know the drill. We have all been through it.

As I got older, I didn't get more confident. I didn't have that sense of calmness. I was still haunted by these thoughts of not being "enough".

I knew I was smart, but that wasn't enough. It didn't give me any confidence.

So time passed and I got my jaw surgery and I finally became "pretty". I am quoting other people now. Even after surgery, I didn't get more confident. Sure, I thought I was prettier, but it still made me insecure because then you start to think - why aren't I prettier?

And now I am here and I think I found the key to everything.
It's so obvious now, but back then...!

I had no idea that it was all it took to become confident..

The reason why I bring it up now it's because I see so many girls who have so low-selfesteem and it just pains me to see it. And that's why I want to write this entry to give my perspective on it.

So girls,
Insecurities will always be there, but the thing is..
You need to love yourself despite all your insecurities. Put yourself first. Love yourself more. Demand that you get the best of the best. YOU are so important. Nothing is more attractive than a girl who loves herself and knows her worth.

Be humble towards others and be kind to yourself.
Have love and respect for yourself.

Whatever life throws at you, it will become easy when you realize that you are BEST.
You need confidence to tackle life, but before you can have confidence you need to have self-love.

What to say - What to do - What you want - What you don't want.
All of those questions will be easily resolved because you're setting standards for yourself and then decisions are way easier to make.

You don't need validation from others.
You are allowed to give yourself compliments.

I am smart.
I am pretty.
I have a kind heart.
They are lucky to have me.

It's absolutely alright to love yourself.
So please ladies.

Love yourself more.
We deserve it!

Happy thoughts from me <3

"Come over for Movie Night"

∼October 18, 2015∼

I am sitting here and thinking about guys I have met and seriously- some of these guys are really smart or I am really stupid..

This is a story about the movie night aka Netflix date and it's about a guy I met maybe two years ago?

We were texting after we met and he was clearly just out to get some so I decline with the obligatory: "Sorry, you got the wrong impression of me. I am not that kind of girl. Okay. Thanks. Bye." I thought it was over, but of course not. He kept writing and eventually he invited me over to see a movie. Yeah, moooooovie night.

He said: "we can watch a movie."
I was very nervous because I never go to guys houses. Or I do, but never guys who aren't my friends. So I didn't know what to expect you know? I was very curious to see what a movie night really meant.

So after a lot of thinking, I go to this guys house. I am thinking to myself: "Are you sure about this Sally? I don't think it's just movies" but I was tempted and I wanted to try something new. I was 20 and I have never been into that sort of scenario before so naturally I wanted to try.

The guy opens the door and he's watching Son's of Anarchy and I am like: "What is this? Like I don't understand shit because I don't watch tv shows."

In the beginning we're sort of watching the show. Then we talk about things and slowly, but surely he starts to caress me. It wasn't awkward or anything.

We're cuddling and caresssing and all of a sudden - he's on top of me. Oh, well not forcifully or anything ;-) Don't worry about that. Hands were everywhere and I was just like "Holy what is happening."

So we kiss and make out and I can feel that it's escalating real fast.
Something somewhere is getting real hard.

My eyes go like O_O what am I supposed to do now!?

At this moment his phone rings. Lucky right? because I am very nervous and I don't know what to do.

I haven't tried it before! So I panic and I say: "Oh, just pick up the phone." and he says: "Nah, it's just my boy calling. It doesn't matter." So I panic even more because I feel like I need a break. I am not ready LOL and I say; "Oh you can pick it up". He say: "Nah" and the phone just keeps vibrating while we're kissing and at this point I yell: "JUST PICK UP THE PHONE!". He picks it up and it turns out his friends are coming over and I am like - "Well~ that means I have to leave?"

Honestly I didn't know what to say so I act all butthurt "Oh, so you throwing me out?" and he's like "You can stay~, but that's kinda weird tho". Omg I am such a loser sometimes, but yeah, I actually wanted to leave because the pace was going too fast. I don't why I acted like I was all boohoo about it because I didn't want to stay.

So here's the thing ladies..

Movie night ain't really just a movie night. Especially when it's past 10PM.
It's definitely something sexual and if wasn't the intentions, you can quickly make it sexual.

All in all, I had so much fun because it was something new and exciting.
It's so cosy, but I might be the only female in the world who thinks that.

Not everything has to be serious - just enjoy life yeah :-)
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