attention please: apparently I am desperate!(?)

∼July 10, 2014∼


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This girl hopes everybody is having a blast of a summer! Or at least a good summer so far.

I am having a great time and spending lots of time with friends and family. Most importantly I use my time to charge and relaxxxx. Today is a bit unusual so I will rant and vent a bit. Long entry and if everything fails - just look at the picture on the right :-) Errors are very likely! and swearing is also highly possible. I like this picture and thus it's added to make the entry seem semi-light hearted. Heehee. 
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A little rant before I go to bed because I am absolutely fuming. So it's no secret that I have text'd with multiple guys in the past(read: keyword is past tense!), but now I don't write to anyone. I am simply at a point where I have tried enough things out of my comfort-zone and I just want to find one guy who I like and likes me back. How I will find one is a different story.

The reason why I am fuming is because I just got a call a couple of hours ago and apparently one of my acquaintances said that he feels I am desperate. What I am desperate for - he didn't say, but it was because I text many guys(not that many and I don't write to anyone anymore). My best friend, who contacted me, sort of agreed with that statement because he feels like I text to many too. It had me hurt and furiously fuckin' fuming. How could he agree!? It's ironic that it comes from a group of guys because they think they got me all figured out - when in reality they don't know anything.

I am just really surprised they view me that way.
Maybe they used the wrong word to describe me, but there is no smoke without fire. 

I don't need judgmental guys who think they got me all figured out and say that I am desperate one when I am simply expressing my wants and therefore pursuing it. I want to excel in everything and believe me - when I want to something, I will try to get it. What's wrong with going for what you want? 

I am not going to sit around like a little princess and wait for a prince to come along. I don't care if other girls do that, but I am not going to do that. I know that with time, the right guy will come along, but I am being realistic here. I am not expecting a prince to sweep me from the ground out of nowhere. If I had to wait for someone, I'd probably go nowhere. If you want something, you need to create an opportunity so it will happen or try to find someone. I ain't gonna find anyone by sitting on my bed and wishing and praying for someone to magically appear at my front door. That's not how things work.

I can't tolerate guys who judge women for doing what the want. "this girl is this, that and she's a whore, easy, loose, slut..". If women are whores then men are whores too. I hate double standards. Just because I wrote to multiple guys; that makes me easy? Excuse me, but guys write to multiple girls all the fucking time and I don't judge them by saying they are little man whores. Or saying they are desperate. 

When you want something you better pursue it. Otherwise you're not moving an inch. 

The more I think about this, the more I am raging. I HATE DOUBLE STANDARDS

I am 21 years old; never had a boyfriend; never had an interest in having boys before I turned 21 and I am the desperate one?! I have never associated myself with guys in more than a friendly way.. And now that I, in an age of 21, start to text people - it makes ME the desperate one? Come on plz. 

Having said that; I don't actively try so hard to find a boyfriend, but I am not going to lie - of course I want a boyfriend. I didn't before, but now I do. I know that it's easy to find a guy, but I don't want any guy. That's why I ask my friends if they know anyone because I assume that my friends' friends must be good people because why the hell would you be friends with them otherwise?

I mean.. I simply stated that I want to have a boyfriend because I feel like the guys I have met so far - they are complete shitheads. You realize many things when things go wrong or bad. My sister says you need to go through a couple of frogs and I think I have. Now I just want to find something stable and secure. I don't wanna wait for a random text from a guy who thinks about me once in a while. Excuse me for wanting to do something with my life instead of waiting around like some girl who doesn't know what she wants. 

I don't have low standards. It doesn't make me desperate just because I write with someone who YOU deem not-so-attractive-according-to-you. I am sorry - I am not superficial and beauty fades. Attraction is vital, but I can see beyond a pretty face. 

Substance over beauty. Any day and everyday. 

I am fuming, but I also find it comical. The double standards are so apparent.
It's not the word 'desperate' that makes me angry. It's the fact that they apply it to me, but they would never do it if it was a guy. 

Double standards sucks. 

If wanting a boyfriend makes me desperate, then yes, I am desperate.
Label me all you want. That's what women are for right?(read: strong irony here!)


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